'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
The computer was silent, with nary a blip.
The phasers were hung by the replicaters with care
Except in Worf's room; it lay near his hair.
Deanna was nestled all snug in her bed
While everyone's visions danced in her head.
And Picard in his ready room, a book in his lap,
Had just settled down for a short stellar nap.
When out in deep space there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from his chair to see what was the matter.
"Red alert!'' cried Will Riker from the bridge where he sat.
The cry startled Data, who was feeding his cat.
Away to the bridge Picard flew in good order,
With Crusher behind him, setting her tricorder.
"On screen!'' he demanded, sitting down in his chair.
Then he stood, tugged his tunic, and beheld what was there.
And what to his wondering eyes did uncloak -
But Enterprise A! It was there! 'Twas no joke!
With a little old captain, with a wink and a smirk.
He knew in a moment, it must be Jim Kirk.
More rapid than warp speed his ship had just come.
And he called to his crew mates, he called one by one.
"On Scotty, on Chekhov, On Sulu and Spock!
"McCoy and Uhura - prepare for space dock!
"Rev up the transporter, drop shields and then beam me
"In the blink of an eye, onto Enterprise D!''
As wild leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Kirk dissolved in thin air. And oh what a cry
Was heard from LaForge, on transporter pad A,
When his visor saw Kirk as clear as the day.
"Take me to Jean Luc!'' he said with a nod.
"I have a present for you. I'm sure you'll applaud.''
They were all in 10-Forward, every woman and male.
And Guinan was pouring the Romulan ale.
"Picard, you are lucky this holiday season,''
Said Kirk, as he smiled and then told them the reason.
"Your crew cannot act, your effects are from hunger.
"If you appear in a movie, the Trekkies will slumber.
"We'll give you a present, my crew and I will.
"We'll be in your movie and give folks a thrill.
"I'll wink and I'll smile at every in-joke.
"The people will think I'm a jolly good bloke.
"And your very first film will not be your last,
"Because we'll be in it, the Classic Trek cast!''
And before they could kill him - their phasers were drawn -
He said, "Beam me up, Scotty!'' and then he was gone.
And they heard him exclaim as he vanished from sight,
"Count your residuals, fools! You know I am right!''